I Pray for my Darling Rara to Pull Through

I had the longest night ever.

The pain I experienced was comparable to those who lost loved ones in the Tsuami disaster. I watched my pet rabbit, Rara, inflict on herself wat was perhaps one of the Top 10 torture methods from ancient China. She was biting off her skin around her chest and neck, which was bare because of her previous action of pulling out all the fur. Blood flowed out like a waterfall with her every action. She struggled to escape everytime I tried to control her. No amount of distraction and coaxing could stop her. The bacteria infection, diagnosed by the vet, Dr. Chua, was causing her to itch and I could sense her struggle between her itch and the pain from torn skin. I thought she would recover slowly after Dr. Chua assured me that it was only a minor bacteria infection and that she is going to be alright after several applications of cream and antibotics. How was I to know, that the visit to the vet was just the beginning.

The effect of the anti-itch injection and cream had worn-off immediately when she reached home. Biting and scratching continued till there were blood stains all over the floor of my living room. She ignored my numerous callings and struggled to escape from my attempts to hold her. I was helpless. All I did was to pray and pray. Nothing helped. To make matters worse, I was alone at home. Mummy's working and won't be back till 1 am (it was only 7.30pm then), Ah Bui's in camp and scoundrel Dad was drinking himself dead at the coffeeshop downstairs. Mummy called and asked me to get scoundrel for help. I refused to. I'm too stubborn to do dat. And I predicted alcohol and merry-making would be more important to him as compared to a taumatised daughter and a dying rabbit. True enough, scoundrel did not come home till 12 plus, drunk. Commented on the massive pool of blood on the floor and ended with, "no wonder your mum called me just now." before heading towards his room and shut the door.

Nothing could have defeated more than wat happened last night. I was mentally drained and physically exhausted. All I did was cry, cry, cry. And pray, pray, pray. Nothing helped. It made matters worse when I called Dr. Chua at around 7.45 to seek for help. She was in the middle of a consultation but said she would call me back. Anxiety was the only word that could descibe the time that passed by before Dr. Chua called. This time, I had Rara bounded to a smaller area and I could control her geographically. But her biting and tuggling at her bare skin did not stop. The entire living room reeked of blood then.

15 eternal minutes passed and Dr. Chua still didn't call. I panicked and tried to call her again, only to realise that the clinic closes at 8pm! It was already 8.20pm then! Wild thoughts ran through my mind. Had Dr. Chua gone home? Would Rara die then?Wat could I do? At this instant, I saw this on the Animal Recovery Clinic, ARC, (this was the clinic I went to earlier)- After Hours Emergency Hotline: 6333 5550. I reacted faster than a bullet. Alex, the animal recovery centre hotline operator, attended to me. I was told that a Dr. Bryan Onn was supposed to be on duty today and dat Alex would get him to call me back. Damn. Call me back again. Sicali din call again, like Dr. Chua did, how?

Meanwhile, the telephone kept ringing. Mummy was calling home every other min from her work plc and Ah Bui was calling to check on Rara too. WL called to console and calm me every now and then too. I couldn't remember wat I said. I was just crying and crying. My entire mind was blank and all I could do was to cry and pray.

Then, Dr. Onn called! He called! My saviour! I broke down again. So paiseh, he muz have thot was I loser I was. He was very nice and gave me some advice as to wat to do. Nothing helped. Becoz Rara just refused to let me touch her at all. She would kick me with her hind legs and struggle tremendously. There were moments when I thot I might be doing her more harm than good. Perhaps I shd juz leave her alone. But I can't. As soon as I walked away, she started going at it again. Helplessness, helplessness and more helplessness.

Good heavens, Dr. Chua called back too! I was in a state of confusion coz she called while Dr. Onn was on the line n I was swtiching to and fro the 2 lines to get advice. All their advice failed because all of them needed me to be able to control and handle Rara. In the end, both of them said unanimously, " Sorry, there's nothing I can do to help then." I was crashed. I can't lose Rara like dat! How could I see her bite off her neck piece by piece and do nothing? Traumatisation reached the highest point at this very moment. Luckily, I realised that I could actually reduce her number of attempts to pull out her skin by petting and coaxing her slowly. I went ahead with this method for 4 hours. Staying by her side every min and sec. Occassionally leaving to clean up the blood stains around the house. I thot of sendign Rara to Dr. Onn'd clinic too. But he warned me that consultation after normal hours would cost me a hefty $165, excluding all the medicines and injections that could be needed.

Then Mummy came home. Her return sparked off more emotions in me as I started crying like a baby again. Her prescence relived a lot of my emotional distress though. We then took turns to coax and pet Rara, to reduce the number of times she tried to go at her wound again. Its was only then dat I could change out of my blood stained clothes and wash up because Mummy was watching her for me. I stayed vigil to her throughout the entire night, catching only minutes of sleep before I was startled by her actions again. I was straining my back, shoulders, arms and legs as I too struggled to do wat I thot was the very best for her.

Seconds felt like days, minutes felt like months and hours felt like years. The entire night felt like it lasted a lifetime to me. The clinic would only open at 10am in the morning, and I had to make sure that Rara could at least pull through till we bring her back to ARC. I dare not leave her alone for a single min. I kept myself awake and distracted her by talking to her. Reminding her of the times we had and how important she was to me. I also told her wat I was going to get her for Chinese New Year- a new cage. Talking about all these made me weep even more. I cried practically throughout the whole night. Tears are flowing down the very minute I am writing this.

Finally, my body couldn't take it anymore. I ran into a slight fever and was feeling very drowsy. It must have been the crying that led to this. I was physically exhausted and couldn't concentrate anymore. It was around 6.30am then and I decided that I was in no state to report for work. Informed whoever I had to inform and realised that I had to get at least some rest.

I called out to Mummy who took over my turn and went to bed reluctantly. I barely slept, all I had on my mind was Rara, Rara and Rara. I was worried Mummy couldn't handle her, coz Rara was so used to being handled by me. I then dozed off and woke up at 9.20am. Immediately checked on Rara and realised dat her condition hasn't worsen too much. But right now I could see her internal muscles and neck bone. Her plight made my heart stopped beating and cause a sudden stiffness in my entire body. After a quick wash up, both me and Mummy were on our way to save her.

Back at ARC, we had to wait for Dr. Sue to complete a surgery. So we were advised to leave Rara there for 15 mins while we took some food. I did not consume anything since 2pm yesterday. Had some quick prata and rushed back to the clinic when they called to say Dr. Sue was ready.

Dr. Sue examined Rara and diagnosed dat her situation was pretty bad. It is best for us to hospitalise her coz we needed professional help in cleaning her wound every now and then and change her dressing. Dr. Sue advised dat perhaps surgery might be needed to get her torn skin back together but she would proceed with that after observation for about 3 days. If Rara's skin showed signs of healing before that, then perhaps surgery would not be needed. However, Dr. Sue did not promise us that Rara's gonna recover. She said that there is also a possibility dat Rara would not pull through. It all depends. For the time being, I juz have to jostle between office, home and clinic everyday.

Some of you might tink that all the physical, metal and monetary efforts dat I've invested in a mere rabbit is so worthless and meaningless. "She's couldn't even talk! Or respond to you! She's just a rabbit! Get another one if she die lah! Chey! So much trouble for one rabbit!"

Maybe some of you might not understand but she is definitely more than a pet to me. She's family. No one could ever understand how much she looks fwd to my return from home everyday and vice versa. How much joy and laughter she bought into my life, how she would "listen to and share" all my nonsense and sorrows in this house, how much I've become used to her dat life's simply not gonna be the same anymore without her. She has given me more than wat a friend could have given.

Maybe Mummy's right. I shouldn't have agreed to Ah Bui bringing her back because I would grow so attached to her dat I am not able to let her go anymore. This is exactly the situation I got myself in right now. I cannot let go. I truly understand dat all living things die one day and dat I gonna live on even without her. But, this is so hard, so so hard. I am so defeated. Life is harsh.

Note: I am going into a state of emotional unstability now and please try to make this easier for me by getting the details through this blog and not ask me again personally, k? Thanks.

Sneak Preview!

Ah hah! Tah dah.... my first entry!

Everybody! (in my usual slang.) Now u guys and gals have an avenue of getting updates about me, anytime, anywhere. But dat doesn't mean u pple can forget about contacting me personally! But if u refuse to, there's nothing i can do anyway. Pretty gals usually get ostracized... ; )

Before I ever get started on anything, i tink i had better indicate this clause and remind you pple. " Characters, places, scenarios and comments found in this blog might be fictitious. Any similarities to anyone, living or dead, mentioned in this blog is purely coincidental."

Alright, now i can start.