Once upon a time...

This is a story about a young executive working in one of the MNCs in Singapore.

It was the start of a new week. Despite the lack of rest during the weekend, *Mary woke up bright and cheery, all ready for the challenges that laid ahead in work.

Everything was like usual. She woke up on usual, she rushed to catch her bus on usual, she got her bus on usual and she got to the office safely as usual. Just as she stepped into her office building, she suddenly realises she had forgotten to bring her laptop to work! Well, in the MNC she works in, there were no personal computers. Everyone uses a laptop, in other words, her laptop is her life. Making a trip back home seemed like the logical and only solution. After all, she had an important report due before noon today.

She took the risk of possible mockery and left a message for her boss about this, in case she wondered what happened to Mary. The way back was smooth, except that the first cab that Mary had boarded refused to take her because the cab driver "accidentally" took a booking, just 3 seconds after Mary settled in.

Luckily, Mary managed to get into another cab just after she alighted from the first one. This cab driver was really nice, because he agreed to wait downstairs while Mary went home for her laptop. Fortunately, Mary's mother was home and agreed to bring the laptop down for her, this means that the cab driver will not have to wait too long. It's gonna be just take and go. Nice cab driver and nice mother. Of course, Mary got a earful from her mother, but, she felt dat she totally deserved it.

The entire to and fro took approximately 30 mins. And soon, Mary was all settled down in her office, working hard on her report.

All went as usual, the hassle and tussle of preparing the report. There was the usual careless mistakes, but everything still went alright.

It seemed like everything had gone back to normal when, at 5.30pm, something cropped up in her previous report. Settling it took some time, and when Mary sat down to get started on another report, her watch showed 6.30pm already.

She quickly proceeded to start on this other report, and had targetted to get it done as soon as possible. Today was usually tiring and she had planned an early night's rest. Things did not turn out as planned. There was a problem with the programming fo the report and she had to call the IT guy, who had knocked off already to fix it. She needed to send this report out by today. Mary hesitated about calling the IT guy, previous experiences with him was disasterous and this resulted in a lot of hostility between them. A heated argument followed, between Mary's boss and the IT guy. The IT guy refused help. There was no way he would agree to help after office hours. Almost an hour had passed and finally, the two parties came to an agreement. Mary's boss would grant the IT overtime hours, thus he would not be working for nothing. All these doesn't matter to Mary actually. She just wanted to get her report done.

Trouble shooting took another 2 hours. Finally! The program worked! Mary was elated. Everything just seemed to be over.

She took a toilet break and wanted to refresh herself at the same time so she could get into doing her report. This moment, catastrophe struck again.

She had used too much force on the zipper on her pants that it gave way! Goodness... Lightning flashed and thunder roared. What could be worse? She had no safety pins or any "rescue" gimmicks for this! Luckily, she found a pin in her drawer and had wore a shirt long enough to cover up watever not to be seen.

At this instant, she wanted to just go home. It was devastating to know how God would allow such a thing to happen to her. She felt totally pathetic and suicidal.

She was even more determined to get her report done in the shortest possible time. Obviously, it was a "black" day for her and she wanted to end it quick.

More problems cropped up with her report and by the time she was done, it was already 10.30pm. Phew. Was she glad this day was over.

Tomorrow will be better. She's keeping her fingers crossed.

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the victim.

Brainless Blabbering Episode 003

Scene: Lunch at Chinese Dim Sum Restaurant
Cast: Me, PREGNANT Team Leader, MIC, Much-Hated DC & Bimbo-lic new gal.

Background: It was a farewell lunch for me as well as a welcome one for the new gal. We were seated at a round table when DC shot a question at us gals.

DC: So, do u gals wanna live with your in-laws in future?

Me, new gal & MIC: well, if we have a choice, we would of course prefer not to lah.

TL: But DC, your mum passed away already rite? Normally if it's only one parent den I tink gals dun mind lah. If not your Dad will be left alone mah.

Me & new gal: Yah loh yah loh. If one parent den it's okie lah. Cannot leave dat parent alone mah.

MIC (not getting it as usual): Hah? How come you only ONE parent? (Can say in astonishing tone somemore, wah lau)

All remained silent for DC to reply. (Pls lah, who dare to reply in such a situation?)

MIC (probing further): Your mum DIED? YOUR MUM DIED? (Need to act so surprised not? People's mother cannot die issit?)

DC nodded with a grieved look. FINALLY she got the hint.


The rest of us normal beings tried to change topic to get out of this embarrassing situation. Somehow, we got to the topic of pet dogs. All of us were sharing stories of how cute and faithful they are until...

MIC: Oh, I heard of this story where a family had a dog and then the female owner got pregnant. 9 months later, she gave birth to a cute little baby. The dog got jealous and one fine day, when the female owner went to check on her baby, she realised dat her dog had torn her baby apart and eaten part of him. (shucks, just writing this makes me nauseous.)

All of us squirmed. I turned and saw my TL turn green. Apparently, this is an inappropriate story to relate to a PREGNANT lady. What the hell is blocking MIC's brain dat she can't see dat?


One last ultimate one to end our supposedly "happy" lunch.

We found dat the dim sum was rather filling, so we decided to order a plate of Kai Lan for a change.

MIC: Wat's Kai Lan?

We tried to describle to her to no avail. In the end, we told her dat she will know exactly wat it is when it gets served.

Kai Lan came and...

MIC: Oh!!! This one! I know!

As all of us picked up our chopsticks to savour it,

MIC: This vegetable is the one with a lot of worms right? There was this time where me and my frens ordered this, and found a worm this big (gesturing something 5cm in length) inside.

This is enough. There's no way I'm gonna put up with such nonsense anymore. I took 5 plates of dim sum from the cart nearby (all pipping hot) and started stuffing all of them into her mouth all at one go. After which, I stuffed her face into the plate of Kai Lan, saying this at the same time, " Where got worms??? WHERE GOT WORMS U TELL ME??? FIND IT AND SHOW ME!!! HUH? HUH?"

With dat, I daintly picked up my handbag and as I gestured to the rest to go. As I walked out, I helped myself to giving her a few more tough kicks in my heels.

Drunkards = Society Hazards

Drunkards should be banned from public transport and quarantined till they are sober, for the benefit of our entire female population in the country.

I had a most terrifying (it was more of frustrating) experience with drunkards yesterday. Was waiting for a bus with Piggy near her place when a dirty old man, who smelt like he was marinated in beer for 3 entire months came to stand beside us, acting suspiciously. He was a Chinese man, in his 50s, standing at approximately 1.7m, dark, with grey hair and blood shot eyes, clad in a light coloured printed shirt with beige colour bermudas and slippers.

This bastard started staring at us. When I say stare, I mean STARE. He was standing at less than a metre away, and he doesn't look a bit like he was waiting for a bus because the direction he was looking at (us) was totally opposite from where the bus would come from. I stared back, fiercely, ready to retaliate with some Hokkien vulgarties.

I turned to look at Piggy and we both looked ard, there were aboout 20 pple at the bus stop, including us. 17 ABNNs, 1 drunk dirty old man and we 2 gals. The situation was to our disadvantage. We decided to take 2 steps away from dat dirty old bastard and observe first.

This bastard followed and took 3 steps nearer to us! Keeping his stares. For a while I feel like we either looked like fairies or aliens, because he never stop staring at us for a second. Dat must have made his blood shot eyes worse. I took out my low-batt handphone and was prepared to call the police when necessary. I even thought of tying him up to the dustbin nearby in case he escapes.

Being the nice, educated gals with class, we decided to give him a chance. We moved to the other side of the bus stop, cramping with the ABNNs. My bus came and damn! He got up the same bus as me! Shit shit shit! It was late and my legs were extremely tired, I couldn't wait for the next bus. Took Piggy's advice and sat at the upper deck because he took the lower deck.

For a while I thought I was safe.

Just 2 bus stops away, danger resurfaced. This time, another drunkard boarded the bus and came up to the upper deck, and guess wat, of all the available spaces on the bus, he chose to sit behind me! I might not have mentioned this to some of u before, but I once had an experience with a molester on a bus in my university days. It was a long bus journey to school and I would often sleep on the bus. There was this time when the bus was empty, as usual, and an old man in his late 40s or early 50s sat behind me. He was pretending to read the newspaper and I never thought anything about it until I felt something touching my back. I opened my eyes and to my horror, I saw this hand from behind, creeping close to the side of my breast!!! I dunno if u pple understand this, if u realise, many pple would lean on the window or rest their arms on the window pane. And this position makes your breasts reachable by the person behind! Provided the person behind is sick like this one lah. I was outraged. I turned and stared at this molester hard in his face and before I could scream at him, he sheepishly looked away and alighted. Damn. I totally regretted not reporting him.

Alright, because of this terrifying experience, I developed a sense of sensitivity whenever I travel alone on a bus. If the person sitting behind me was male, I would make sure I keep my eyes wide open and constantly check if he's trying anything funny. Paranoid u would say, but I never wanna risk my modesty again.

Back to this other drunkard yesterday. I grew suspicious of him because it was like he specially chose to sit behind me. Well well well, it turned out he was another one of those dirty old men who decided to try this old trick at me. Hahaha. Sorray...I ain't no young and innocent gal no more. I challenged him by shifting my entire fat ass to the centre of the seat. Turning ard to check on him every 5 mins. Other people on the bus might see me as a lunatic, but this drunk asshole behind me knew he had met his match. Finally, he gave up and alighted at the bus stop as soon as my bus came out of the expressway. In fact, he got so kan cheong because it was as if he was exposed dat he pressed the bell long before we reached dat bus stop! Heh heh heh heh...

I was safe but it totally ruined my weekend. Feeling still pissed now, I wish all lecherous drunkards and molesters get choked by beer, their lecherous arms maimed, lecherous eyes blinded and become impotent.

Note:
Guy frens: Our country is not as safe as it seems. And your gal-frens (including non-intimate female frens) are not as ugly and unappealling as you thought too. Anyone could become a victim of rape or fall into hands of sick molesters. Don't trade an extra 30 mins of sleep or rest time with the possibility of violation of someone you know. It's not worth it. Always offer to send a gal home when it's late.

Galfrens: Please keep a lookout for molesters on public transport. Learn to protect yourself, if u can't, den get home before 10pm or wear a chasity belt.

Announcement: No MSN-ing in Office

This is official. I just attempted to start my web-based msn to while time when all attempts to log in turned fruitless.

I count myself lucky they still allow blogging.

One of my Favourite Things...

... is something new.

It cheers up my day, make me sing, whistle (not the professional one, mine sounds one to get small kids to pee), smile and say, "I'm happy!" over and over again.

It's even better if it comes as a surprise, I like surprises (appropriate ones please). Before I digressed to incidents of lousy surprises which turned into nerve-wrecking, heart breaking and frenships breaking disasters, I had better continue with wat was intended.

I got a new laptop today! My old one, running on a lousy backdated Windows 2000 is expiring in June, so I got an upgrade to a new laptop today. Woohoo~ My first blog entry in the office using my NEW laptop. I decided to name it "Elvis". Dun ask me why dat name. It just came up in the midst of my morning shower.

Okie, tink I need to clarify something. My laptop's not really brand new. Rather the newbie here is it's OS. After 4 mths of nail chewing incidents occurring from my old laptop, having this one is like getting eating steamboat in winter. Shiok!

Will blog about lousy surprises in my next entry. Gotta get back to work now.

It all started out as a beautiful day. I woke up on time. No grouchiness at all.

Took my time to get ready for work, breakfast was already bought last nite and strolled under the rays of the morning sun to my usual bus stop.

Well, there was the occasional sweat despite my slow and steady walk because of the lack of morning breeze (I did not swear at this), but I was in a happy mood.

Entire bus journey was smooth and nice, except for a smelly ABNN who sat in front of me, but he had this "puppy-eyed" look and I was in a happy mood. Forgiven then.

Came in to the office proudly coz this was one of the rare occasions where I took a bus and was early. As usual, I got my laptop started.

Then, my outlook hanged. Alright, patience is a virtue, and today's a beautiful day, so nothing can spoil it. I restarted my laptop. My outlook hanged again.

Tamade.

My nice and beautiful day ruined by a lousy, outdated laptop whose outlook just refused to load. I can't and will not tolerate nonsense from technology. Restarted my laptop "n" times but it didn't help.

I'm calling the help-desk.

I'm enjoying this weekend. Fabulous.

Because:

I'm not burdened by any work.

I get REST.


I was watching tv in my living room the other day. It was during one of those lousy moments where all channels ganged up on having commercials at the same time. Bored, I looked around. All of a sudden, I felt it. Sometimes it just came like dat. Totally awesome. I actually feel blessed with a simple life. For a moment I didn't feel like a loser lazing ard at home on a weekend acheiving nothing but more fats. I was a winner!

Yes. We only live once. But how many of us get a chance to be simple?

Strawberries!

Woo! Look at this! See how this strawberry compares to an ordinary pen!



Some vendor came to our company canteen to sell fruits today. Had a sudden craving for strawberries and saw them at $5/ box. I usually dun buy local strawberries. Rather, I usually dun buy strawberries locally. Reason being, they are sour. Not nice at all. My best strawberry experience was at Cameron last year. Cool and nice weather. Sweet-tasting strawberries that reminded me of ice popsicles. Wow.

I took up a box of strawberries on display and asked the uncle, "Are these sweet?" Dat was a real dumb question. Realised it only after asking. Wah lau. Which fruit seller would say dat their stawberries are not sweet? I wasn't really convinced with Uncle's reply though, and he could see dat. Because, he reached below his stall and pulled out another box of strawberries, and guaranteed dat they are sweet.

Of coz guarantee sweet lah. $12 for a box of 16 leh. Which goes down to $0.75 each. Siao bo? Never eaten such luxurious ones man! But they are so nice and big and looks so sweet!!!

My TL suggested dat we share a box and I happily agreed.

I enthusiatically washed one to try after lunch.

Wwwwwwoooooooooooowwwwwwwww.....

Shiok!

So sssssswwwwwweeeeettttttt..... mmmmmmm.....

It's the best strawberry I've ever tasted in my entire life! $0.75 each was more than worth man. Totally brightened up my day. It's been quite sometime since I've had such uplifting experiences with food.

Work Week

I hope this entry relieves some of my cooped up stress.

Working Hours at Wonderland

Monday: 8.30am to 8.30pm
Tuesday: 8.30pm to 6.00pm
Wednesday: 8.30am to10.00pm
Thursday: 8.30am to 5.30pm
Friday: 8.30am to 8pm
Sun: 3pm to 6pm

53.5 hours a week. Where can I find time for dates? (If there are, that is.)

God sent an angel to deliver a piece of GOOD news to me today.

I was moved to tears. I should have felt happier than winning Miss Singapore. But somehow it doesn't feel as good inside. I feel, .... em.... vexed.

Tink some of u might have known already. Will let in the details later. Anyone who asks me about it now will get piles. Dun even try.

The feeling just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Something is indeed very wrong. Damn. Is this premature quarter life crisis?

My work sucks, my toe hurts, I'm losing my frens to their bfs, I meet insensitive people and plagiarising thieves, I stay home indulging in self-pity during weekends. Totally unbearable. Argh! I just wanna SSSSCCCCRRRREEEAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All these time, I stayed positive. I consoled myself that things were already at the rock bottom, wat could be worse? It had to get better somehow. Perhaps, I under-estimated the power of my suay-ness. I had not fallen to the bottom as yet. I hope I am able to hold on till things get better. Or will they?

There were umpteen times when I felt like crying my heart out. As if going to work with a sore toe was not pathetic enough, I was so caught up with work dat I had no time for breakfast and lunch. My first meal of the day consisted of 2 pieces of rice crackers and 3 rochers at 7.45pm. Never had I starved myself like this before. Food is my life. Just thinking about it makes my eyes watery.

I'm gonna bury myself in my pillow and wallow in my sorrow-ness.

Leave me alone.