Brainless Blabbering Episode 003

Scene: Lunch at Chinese Dim Sum Restaurant
Cast: Me, PREGNANT Team Leader, MIC, Much-Hated DC & Bimbo-lic new gal.

Background: It was a farewell lunch for me as well as a welcome one for the new gal. We were seated at a round table when DC shot a question at us gals.

DC: So, do u gals wanna live with your in-laws in future?

Me, new gal & MIC: well, if we have a choice, we would of course prefer not to lah.

TL: But DC, your mum passed away already rite? Normally if it's only one parent den I tink gals dun mind lah. If not your Dad will be left alone mah.

Me & new gal: Yah loh yah loh. If one parent den it's okie lah. Cannot leave dat parent alone mah.

MIC (not getting it as usual): Hah? How come you only ONE parent? (Can say in astonishing tone somemore, wah lau)

All remained silent for DC to reply. (Pls lah, who dare to reply in such a situation?)

MIC (probing further): Your mum DIED? YOUR MUM DIED? (Need to act so surprised not? People's mother cannot die issit?)

DC nodded with a grieved look. FINALLY she got the hint.


The rest of us normal beings tried to change topic to get out of this embarrassing situation. Somehow, we got to the topic of pet dogs. All of us were sharing stories of how cute and faithful they are until...

MIC: Oh, I heard of this story where a family had a dog and then the female owner got pregnant. 9 months later, she gave birth to a cute little baby. The dog got jealous and one fine day, when the female owner went to check on her baby, she realised dat her dog had torn her baby apart and eaten part of him. (shucks, just writing this makes me nauseous.)

All of us squirmed. I turned and saw my TL turn green. Apparently, this is an inappropriate story to relate to a PREGNANT lady. What the hell is blocking MIC's brain dat she can't see dat?


One last ultimate one to end our supposedly "happy" lunch.

We found dat the dim sum was rather filling, so we decided to order a plate of Kai Lan for a change.

MIC: Wat's Kai Lan?

We tried to describle to her to no avail. In the end, we told her dat she will know exactly wat it is when it gets served.

Kai Lan came and...

MIC: Oh!!! This one! I know!

As all of us picked up our chopsticks to savour it,

MIC: This vegetable is the one with a lot of worms right? There was this time where me and my frens ordered this, and found a worm this big (gesturing something 5cm in length) inside.

This is enough. There's no way I'm gonna put up with such nonsense anymore. I took 5 plates of dim sum from the cart nearby (all pipping hot) and started stuffing all of them into her mouth all at one go. After which, I stuffed her face into the plate of Kai Lan, saying this at the same time, " Where got worms??? WHERE GOT WORMS U TELL ME??? FIND IT AND SHOW ME!!! HUH? HUH?"

With dat, I daintly picked up my handbag and as I gestured to the rest to go. As I walked out, I helped myself to giving her a few more tough kicks in my heels.