I looked back and saw how stressed and suicidal I was 2 weeks ago, where I had so many things to clear on my plate. I should be looking back 2 weeks from now and feel relieved that I have time for my family, frens, Rara etc. But...

Nnnnnnnnoooooooooo.....

How come I feel that my rice bowl's in jeopardy?

Somehow there is this strong feeling that when my projects are done, my boss will just wave goodbye with a mere "Thank you for your participation."

I swear these are not my wild thoughts. I admit I'm very sensitive most times, but this time, it's different. It's so obvious. New products were loaded to my colleagues. Nothing for me. We (me and him) had a discussion about this sometime in Sep, and he simply brushed it off with "Well, plans for you will be aligned to plans for the team as a whole..." And the only thing I gather at that time, it meant no specific/ special plan for me at all.

Now, not to mention he had no SPECIFIC/ SPECIAL plan for me, there isn't even ANY! Oh no. Not good at all. My future's bleak.

It's a wake-up call to flip those papers and update my online resumes again. I better start losing some weight for that "professional" passport size photo.